Figure of Speech
by Lord Cellytron
Summary: Tyzonn doesn't understand figures of speech.


**Author's Note: I was inspired to write this after repeated viewings of select scenes from PROO episode 16, "Just Like Me", on Youtube. Not sure exactly what happened, because Will isn't even in this story. I guess, as much as I love the Will/Tyzonn dynamic, dangit, Mack got there first. So I wrote about Mack and Tyzonn staying up late one night, playing video games.**

** I don't own PROO and I wouldn't know what to do with it if I did.**

**...  
**

"And if you think THAT rocked, oh, man, wait until I show you level fourteen!" Mack Hartford enthused around a mouthful of puffed corn. He waved his arms as he talked, and nearly dropped his video game controller in the process. "Oh, man, you--you're not gonna BELIEVE the new armor you get after you beat the evil lord Thataron! Those ballistic missiles that killed you in level one? They bounce right off! It's... AMAZING. That's the only word for it."

Tyzonn stifled a yawn and pushed himself into a seated position. He'd been reclining on the couch opposite Mack, fading in and out of consciousness over the last few hours as his new friend babbled on, seemingly endlessly, about his favorite recreational activity: video games.

"This is all very interesting, Mack, but I'm afraid-"

Mack suddenly let out a scream and pointed at the TV screen.

"Oh, no! No! Look at-- oh, JEEZ! I forgot to give Cynda the Sorceress a potion. Oh, man, there goes her HP. Oh, well, that's okay. That's what save points are for. It's okay."

Tyzonn groaned quietly and reached for the snack bowl in the middle of the coffee table. He had initially been appalled at the blandness of this variety of Earth cuisine, and had inadvertently spat out his generous mouthful of puffed corn all over Spencer's shoes when the butler had delivered the "midnight snack" to "Master Eyestrain" several hours ago.

However, in the intervening time, Tyzonn had grown almost fond of the soft, creamy texture of the processed and chemically treated Earth vegetable. He truly looked forward to each and every bite.

And the bowl was empty.

"It's... gone," he said, fatigue and hunger adding an edge to his voice.

"What's gone?" Mack asked, swallowing.

"The food."

"What? Oh. That's okay, I'm full. Oh! This is the best part. Okay, watch this."

"But I'm still hungry..." Tyzonn said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Okay. Ha ha ha, this is great." Mack cleared his throat and prepared to recite the video game's dialogue along with its characters.

("How can this be?! You've destroyed my base and all of my Dinosaurobots!" Evil Lord Thataron roared.

"Give it up, Thataron! It's all over! Give us back the Sword of Dallothine!" the video game's "hero" demanded.

"And free my people!" added Cynda the Sorceress.

"Your PEOPLE shall meet the same fate as your MOTHER!" yelled Thataron.)

Mack suddenly turned to Tyzonn and nodded soberly.

"That's right," he said.

Tyzonn blinked with confusion.

"It was Evil Lord Thataron who killed Cynda's mother," Mack clarified in a reverent whisper.

Tyzonn frowned.

"Oh?"

Mack nodded knowingly.

"I know, I couldn't believe it, either."

(Cynda's pixelated, anime-style face contorted into an expression of shock.

"How... how did you know about my mother?!" she exclaimed.

"How did I know?!" Thataron screamed. "I KNOW BECAUSE I..."

"No!" The Hero cried. "Don't tell her! Please!"

"I AM YOUR FATHER!")

The screen went black, and a prompt came up asking Mack if he wanted to save his game.

"Man. Can you believe that? I'm not kidding you, I just about died when I played this game for the first time," he sighed, smiling with fond reminiscence.

"What? Why?! What happened?" Tyzonn asked, jumping to his feet. He looked around the room frantically, standing close to Mack, hand on his Overdrive Tracker.

"What? Well... weren't you listening? Thataron is Cynda's father!" Mack said, pointing at the television.

"But why was your life in danger? Is it possible that the threat will return?!"

"My life wasn't in danger," Mack said, frowning. He saved his game, and then popped the disc out of his Playstation. "Tyzonn, what's the matter? Sit back down."

Mack began to stand up, but Tyzonn was on him immediately, pushing him back down onto the couch. He then turned around and shielded Mack with his body.

"Stay down! You'll get out of this alive, I promise you!"

Tyzonn finally deemed the room as safe, and he peered at Mack from under his eyebrows.

"Tell me what happened last time!"

"What are you talking about?!"

"You just said you nearly died! Is there a threat I should be aware of?!"

"What?!"

"A threat!"

Mack thought a moment, then let out a gasp of realization. "Oh, jeez. I... Tyzonn, I... I didn't mean I actually almost DIED."

"You said you did!"

"No, no, Tyzonn, sit down. It's... haven't you ever heard that before? It's just a... a figure of speech."

"Figure of... speech?!"

Mack rubbed his forehead.

"Oh, boy. It's... something humans do. I don't know, Rose could explain it better than I can."

"Try," Tyzonn said, his silver eyes flashing with urgency.

"Uh... okay," Mack said, laughing a little. He shrugged. "Sometimes, uh... you know, humans say one thing when they mean another."

"Well, you... you're talking about lying," Tyzonn said.

"What?! No! No! Well, I mean, yeah, kind of. I mean, that too. But this isn't lying."

Tyzonn frowned at him.

"Okay, no. It's like... haven't you ever heard that... you know, 'it's hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk'?"

Tyzonn continued to frown. Mack became acutely aware of the silence, and struggled to fill it.

"Well, it doesn't mean that anyone is out there, you know... frying eggs on the sidewalk. It just means that it's really, really hot outside."

"Then... you claim such a thing has taken place, but it hasn't actually taken place?" Tyzonn asked.

"Nope!" Mack said, satisfied that he had given an adequate explanation.

"Then it's a lie!"

"No! No, it isn't! It's just something people say!" Mack exclaimed. "It's..."

"Your people routinely misrepresent events and circumstances?" Tyzonn asked.

"But, it's not-"

"Then, how can your people determine whether anything others say is true?!"

"Well, come on, Tyzonn. I mean, if I said something like... I don't know, 'I asked you a million times to sit down,' you'd know I didn't really ask you a million times, right?"

"Why would you say that?!"

"That's another figure of speech! But you know I didn't ask you a million times, right? I mean, we would have been standing here forever! Er... I mean, for as long as it takes to ask you a million times. I mean... right?"

"No, you didn't ask me to sit down a million times," Tyzonn said slowly.

"Yes!" Mack breathed a sigh of relief. "So, see?"

"No."

Mack sighed.

"All right, look, we'll ask Rose about it tomorrow. Just... look." Mack stood up and put his hand on Tyzonn's shoulder. "Just trust me. I'll never 'lie' to you about anything important, okay? None of us will. So, if you hear any of us say anything that sounds really fishy, it's probably just another figure of speech. But we don't mean anything by it. It's probably just something humans say and they don't even think about it. Okay?"

"All right... so, I shouldn't believe you if you make a reference to an aquatic organism."

"No, I mean, just... take what humans say with a grain of salt."

"All right... can your servant provide me with the appropriate mineral compound?"

"NO!"

"Then how can I be expected to..."

"Tyzonn! Just..." Mack laughed exasperatedly. "Don't believe everything you hear! If it sounds too weird to be true, it probably is."

Tyzonn nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry, Mack."

"Hey, come on, don't be sorry. You're doing great. You really are. You're not a reptilian beast anymore, you aren't dressing up like Will anymore, you're mostly staying in one piece... you're doing a great job living on Earth!"

"Thank you, I suppose."

"Yeah. So, come on, let's go to bed, I can show you level 14 tomorrow. I'm not kidding, you're gonna flip OUT."

Tyzonn frowned at him. He then looked over Mack's shoulder toward the main entrance to the mansion. He did a quick calculation in his head, and looked back at Mack.

"I'm afraid I'm going to need time to practice."

Mack put his forehead in his hand and shook his head.

"Okay, yeah, that's good. That's... really funny. Smart ass."

Tyzonn opened his mouth to speak, but Mack quickly put a hand over his mouth.

"Never mind. Never mind."

He turned to leave.

"So... you didn't almost die?" Tyzonn asked.

"No, I sure didn't. Well, I mean, not after I played the video game."

"But you almost died another time?"

Mack shrugged.

"Well, yeah. I'm a Power Ranger. Things happen."

"Then... it wasn't an untruth."

"Well, no, but... well, yeah, I guess..." he laughed a little. "Jeez, you really were all set to take a bullet for me, just now, weren't you?"

"A bullet?"

"Or, uh, whatever."

Tyzonn looked at him and nodded.

"I take my duties very seriously. You're my leader and my comrade, and I have a duty to protect you, just as you protect me."

"I'm... glad to hear it. But, hey, come on, learn to relax a little. Don't bring the job home with you, you know what I mean?"

"Maybe..." Tyzonn frowned.

"Just chill out." Mack shook his head. "I don't mean... I mean... just... relax. It's hard enough being a Power Ranger without being on edge all the time. You know what I mean?"

"On the edge of what?" Tyzonn asked.

"I mean... okay, here. You know why I play video games?" Mack asked, pointing to the TV.

"I haven't the least idea," Tyzonn said.

"Well, it's... so I get to be a hero."

Tyzonn looked at him with confusion.

"I know what you're thinking," Mack said. "I'm a Power Ranger. I'm a hero all the time. And I just said not to take the job home with me. It doesn't make much sense, right?"

"It doesn't make ANY sense."

"Sure, it does. And I've done it my whole life. Ever since I was a kid, I've loved video games. And adventure novels, oh, man... I mean, I go into my own little world when I play the games or read the books. I always have. It's a feeling like nothing else in the world for me."

He nodded in Tyzonn's direction, but didn't really see him.

"Even being a Power Ranger isn't quite the same," he murmured.

"I don't understand."

Mack's eyes focused, and he lost his dreamy gaze.

"Well, you see..." he laughed. "It's leftover feelings from my childhood, partly. When I pick up those novels, I'm... I'm ten years old again. And it's so rare, that anyone can reach adulthood and can just, poof, pick up a book and they're a kid again. It's kind of like... cheating. Like, I'm getting all this extra time as a kid, while everyone else has to suck it up and be an adult 24/7. But I don't feel as bad about that as I probably should."

Tyzonn nodded, even though he didn't understand.

"And the other part of it is that it's safe. It's so safe. It's a thrill, sure. No matter how many times I read those books or beat those games, it's still a thrill, but it's safe. I know exactly how it's going to come out every single time. There're no variables, no changes, nothing unexpected. It's basically the only time that I get to be a hero and I know for an absolute fact that I'm going to win and everything's going to turn out fine. And, you know, I don't get that reassurance in real life. No one does."

"What do you recommend that I do?" Tyzonn was saying. Mack looked at him quizzically.

"To relax," he clarified.

"Oh. Boy, uh, I don't know. I mean, you gotta find something that makes you feel like nothing else in the world does. You know what I mean?"

"Yes," Tyzonn said.

"For Ronny, it's driving. It's books and poetry for Rose, and Dax... well, movies. And, uh... Will..."

"Girls," Tyzonn finished.

"Right. Girls..." Mack said. "You just have to find... that special thing that keeps you going. Whatever it is."

Mack sighed and shook his head.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow."

Tyzonn frowned at him.

"We really will talk about it tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow."

Tyzonn hesitated, then nodded once.

"Oh, man, all the puffed corn is gone. Jeez, that stuff is good. I could eat a million bags of that stuff," Mack sighed.

"Really?" Tyzonn asked, his eyes widening. "I once ate an entire goat."

Mack looked over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised.

"Really?"

Tyzonn smiled and shook his head.

"No."

Mack looked at him quizzically, then realization dawned on him. He laughed quietly and pointed at Tyzonn.

"Hey, not bad for your first try."

He turned off the TV and proceeded to carry the empty bowl into the kitchen. Tyzonn frowned and waited for Mack to return so he could finish his story.

Mack never came back.

"I... didn't eat the eyes," Tyzonn said, to himself. "It's bad luck to eat the... eyes... well, we'll talk about it tomorrow."


End file.
